Tetris DS - Review

The two most important rules in Tetris are:

1. The speed at which tetrominoes shower from the sky should only ever increase. The player should have absolutely no control over the rate at which they fall.

2. The blocks should be sticky. They should rigidly lock themselves into place the moment that their southern most side so much as brushes against another block.

Tetris DS overlooks both these rules, and so – despite what the box says – cannot be considered a proper version of Tetris.

Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 (PS3) - Review

Games with the year in the title are rubbish. That seemed to be the law. Even PES, Konami’s ever-playable football series, fell apart when they decided to put a “2008” after Pro Evolution Soccer instead of a “7”.

Alien Assault (PC) - Review

It’s only a matter of time before something goes wrong in Space Hulk Alien Assault. Most often it’s one of your Terminator’s space marine’s weapons jamming right at the start of the Genestealers’ aliens’ turn. Sure, you had two heavily armoured dudes covering the other entrance, but they might as well be wearing dresses made from candy floss for all the resistance they’ll put up when attacked from behind.

Valkyria Chronicles (PS3) - Review

Valkyria Chronicles sees you take control of a small military force, fighting a series of increasingly difficult skirmishes against a bunch of evil dudes from the east. It's a turn-based game, meaning that instead of struggling to keep track of what's happening at six different locations on the battlefield all at once, you only have to worry about one thing at a time. Personally, that's how I like my strategy games: thoughtful rather than frantic.