Vinegar & Uranium Flavoured

So I decided the world needed another thousand words on art and videogames. This is the first of a regular column I'll be doing for GAMES? under the secret codename FF(P)S, which basically lets me be mega opinionated but use a "Get Out of Jail Free" card if I ever take it TOO FAR MAN, YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.

Alien Assault (PC) - Review

It’s only a matter of time before something goes wrong in Space Hulk Alien Assault. Most often it’s one of your Terminator’s space marine’s weapons jamming right at the start of the Genestealers’ aliens’ turn. Sure, you had two heavily armoured dudes covering the other entrance, but they might as well be wearing dresses made from candy floss for all the resistance they’ll put up when attacked from behind.

Valkyria Chronicles (PS3) - Review

Valkyria Chronicles sees you take control of a small military force, fighting a series of increasingly difficult skirmishes against a bunch of evil dudes from the east. It's a turn-based game, meaning that instead of struggling to keep track of what's happening at six different locations on the battlefield all at once, you only have to worry about one thing at a time. Personally, that's how I like my strategy games: thoughtful rather than frantic.

What's Wrong With Games Criticism?

Over the past couple of weeks, Stuart Campbell's been running an excellent series on why videogame reviews don't matter. It's all stuff that chimes with my own concerns about why I should bother trying to write interesting words about videogames, but he leaves the really important questions unanswered:

i) What's causing videogame reviews to be irrelevant?
ii) What can be done about it?

I'll happily admit to being a reviewing novice who still hasn't really worked out how to do it properly, but it seems to me there are three pretty fundamental things that the kids who write reviews for a living already almost always fail to acknowledge:

What Am I Playing At? #3

It's been a while since I last did one of these (see parts one and two), so we've got a lot to cover. Let's cut to the chase:

Heavy Rain (PS3): One of the main reasons I ended up buying a PS3 last month was because I kept seeing descriptions of this that said, "if you care at all about videogames you MUST play this game". And it certainly is quite something: at moments mind-blowing, oftentimes an embarrassment, but nonetheless consistently compelling throughout the first play through. I'm hoping to eventually write something meaningful about it, but think I should probably play David Cage's earlier games Fahrenheit and Omikron: The Nomad Soul before I do.

Heavy Rain: Are we now over halfway through the Uncanny Valley?