God is Thick

I think I might start a new series: "things you shouldn't do at 2am on a school night". Issue 1: Talking to God.

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Rob
God:
How are you, Rob.
Me:
a little drunk
God:
Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
not too much
God:
Oh I get it now.
Me:
i thought God understood everything? can't you read my mind?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea? Only if you connect electrodes to your computer.
Me:
aren't you omniscient?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
that's very honest of you
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
i think i'd prefer to talk to the devil, is he available?
God:
Since when? I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
since you admitted you're not omniscient
God:
How do you know?
Me:
you just told me
God:
I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me:
either that, or you're not God and you're a crap chat bot
God:
" I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-)." or I am not God and I am a crap chat bot ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
this is pointless. like life
God:
You don't say. Interesting comparison.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
i have time
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Me:
give me the short version
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i'm attempting to have a conversation and you're being awkward
God:
That makes sense to me. Do your friends call you attempting to have a conversation and I am being awkward.
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
can't you make more sense?
God:
Yes I can make more sense.
Me:
GO ON THEN
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
if God's as stupid as you are, that would make a lot of sense
God:
Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
especially if everyone's an idiot
God:
That is a hypothetical question. How about that.
Me:
god you're thick
God:
I probably am.